Emily, your first story was so great!! I applaud you for being so creative and unique. I really like that you set up your story as a new broadcast and used a God and Goddess as your broadcasters--it was very humorous. You told the story very well and told it in a fun way! I also really like that you left the readers wanting more.... I really want to know if the sister's motives are pure or if they are seeking to destroy the sultan. I do wonder why the executer's daughter wants to offer herself up to the sultan? Will the grand-vizir get killed if he tries to stop his daughters from going through with the marriage? If many people know of the the treacherous deeds, why aren't they trying to stop him? I am curious to see if the sisters do not kill the sultan and if the grand-vizir, or their father, has to kill them both.... hmmmm
Emily, I have to say I was very curious about what you would come up with for your story and how you would tell it. Bravo. This story is so unique I found myself smiling as I read it. I am very interested to read what you come up with next on G-network! I can see the correlation between the Hunger Games and this broadcast and I love it. Greek mythology is so dramatic it would make the hottest broadcast. What if you added some more pictures as Hermes is speaking about different topics? I think this would help the reader picture what the conversation is about more clearly. Also, "Now Zeus with the weather" made me laugh. I can just picture him in his toga in front of the green screen. Ha! By making this a broadcast you have opened it up to so many different stories. Will you continue with the same story or do a completely different one next time? I think it is great that you can kind of leave the reader hanging to bring them back for more. Until next time!
Hi Emily, I'm excited to read the ending of your story you created on your storyboard! I enjoyed that you left it off with a cliffhanger and the reader has to wait to see what will happen next. Kind of making it like a normal type of podcast or tv talk show that the viewer will have to tune in next week to get the ending. I also liked reading it from the point of view from Hermes and Aphrodite with a newscaster type of mood. I enjoyed that you had input from Aphrodite about love, that gave it a funny addition! I somewhat expected either Hermes or Aphrodite to go in and have some fun with the story as well. Like Aphrodite pretending to be one of the wives or something along those lines. Overall, I like where you're going with the portfolio! I also enjoyed the layout, but I only had one change to be made. The links on your home page didn't take me to the first story or the comment wall! Just something to keep in mind for the future.
Emily, I loved your story! I think it was so creative that you wrote your story from the perspective of newscasters. I liked the length of the story—not too long that it seemed repetitive or boring, but not too short to where it felt like you left things out. One of my favorite parts was how you added humor but also talked about the severity of the situation. I think you did a really good job of explaining all of the details of what was going on—the sultan marrying and the killing all of the different women, and then having the daughter of the killer volunteer herself and her sister to marry the man. Something I want to know more about is the father’s reaction to both of his daughters’ wishing to marry the sultan. Is this something we will learn in a later post? Overall, I absolutely loved this story! Can't wait to keep up with G-Network!
I loved reading you story! This was such a fun style to explore the story with. The humor was spot-on throughout and I was able to follow the plot really easily just with the information the newscasters were providing. I can definitely see how this is similar to the Hunger Games - the cheerful banter about murder worked well here! Overall, there's not much feedback I have about the story itself. However, I think a fun addition might have been adding more visuals, like a TV broadcaster might have behind them while they're reporting. It could be interesting to have them making comments about the visuals and incorporating more banter in that way, while also giving the audience more information about how to picture the characters! However, you definitely don't need to add anything if you don't want to, the story is really strong as it is - great job!
I really liked the style of storytelling you used. The back and forth between Hermes and Aphrodite was really fun and kind of reminded me of the Pitch Perfect commentators given the humor. I really liked your story but I think you might want to revisit a few things on the home page. I kind of had a hard time finding your story. On the first page it looks like there is a link to it at the top of the page but then when you click on it the link just scrolls further down the page. It might be nice to have that be a link to the actual story page. Also I got an error message when I clicked onto the comment wall link on your storybook so you may want to check that out and see if it is working properly. Overall, it seems like your project is coming along great and I am excited to see how it continues to develop.
Hello! First of all, I loved the layout of your portfolio; the pictures do a great job of giving visual representations, and it is very easy to navigate. The first suggestion I have is to maybe put the titles of the story's in the upper box of each portfolio instead of labeling them story 1, story 2, etc., this way people can quickly find the title instead of trying to remember what number their favorite title was. As for your story, I think you did a fantastic job! I really like how you modernized it by going with a format similar to E-News. This made for a very easy read, and the banter back and forth was very entertaining. Another thing I liked about your story is that you sectioned off the speakers as if it was a news broadcast or something. This made it very clear who was talking at what points and made for a very clean look and organization.
Hey Emily. I really enjoyed your first story. I thought it was intriguing to tell these stories form a breaking news perspective. I haven’t really ever heard of anyone doing it that way, so I was surprised by how much I enjoyed reading your story that way. I like that you gave the Gods more human emotion and had them pretending to be regular people telling the news. I must say I thought they were very detailed for reports ha. The best part to me was at the end when you said, “Now, to Zeus with the weather.” I really enjoyed that stereotype that the God of Thunder would be the weatherman because it just fits perfectly. One thing that confused me was picture next to your comment wall. I was under the impression that I click the picture and it would take me to the story. I was also wondering if there was any way to expand on the story just a little bit more. I know that I was wanting just some more info and tidbits. Otherwise, I thought you did an amazing job and cannot wait to read more of your stories
I just finished reading through the first story on your website! I hadn't heard this story before, but it's similar to a story I read for this class a few weeks ago, called "Tales of a Parrot." In that story, a parrot tells stories every night to keep his master's wife from committing adultery while he's away. This trope of someone telling stories to delay or avoid something bad wasn't one I really knew of before this class, but now I'm seeing it everywhere! I thought the idea of telling this story as a developing news story was really interesting, and the dialogue was fantastic! My biggest critique, I think, was that it really threw me off, having the Greek gods telling a news story from Arabian Nights, since they wouldn't have been the deities there, and the two are totally separate. Aside from that, though, it was great! (Also, as a sidenote: your home page either isn't loading correctly on my computer, or has some formatting issues. You might want to view the published site and see if it looks as you intended.)
Hey Emily! I really enjoyed your first story. I was looking forward to seeing how you would recreate it to make it better. I think that the way you told the story from Hermes and Aphrodite made the story feel more realistic because they were talking things through. I have read a lot of story books having used the gossip theme or the “tune in for…” theme but none of these have been news broadcasts with two anchors. I connected with the characters in this story because I felt as though they were real people living in these situations and not as much “gods” like in the original stories. One thing I would consider expanding on is why Aphrodite feels as though something is going on with this girl or she has ulterior motives. OR Aphrodite is like all of us girls and we tend to know when something feels off or wrong with a relationship. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story and can’t wait to see what’s next on G-Network!
I love what you are doing with your storybook! I have not yet seen one that reads like a drama channel broadcast, so this was really fun to read! It is also just such a perfect format for the content and makes it so fun to learn about. The commentary makes the story really enticing and entertaining, especially if the reader knows anything about mythology (but you did such a great job explaining everything that the reader does not even need to). I really liked this line from Aphrodite: "You know how I feel about love, Hermes...". That's a clever way to emphasize her powers and area of expertise! You do not ever give too much information at once (it's spread out really well) so nothing feels overwhelming. Also, the two characters you chose for this story were perfect and had great chemistry. I look forward to seeing what else you come up with!
This was my first time looking at your storybook. I have to say that your introduction page is very appealing. The images used were interesting, and I love your little introductory paragraph. It is very attention grabbing! I think it was a great idea on your part to have the link to your comment wall bigger and with an image, it is definitely more noticeable that way. I'm not sure if you were in the process of editing your introduction page when I was viewing it, but the bottom half of the page has gray areas where it looks like images should be.
I think it might benefit you to edit the page name of your first story. From the home page, it says "Story 1," and I would have liked it to be a little more representative of what we would be reading.
I definitely love the writing style you chose. Having it as a radio broadcast is a unique and fun way to learn more about the history of the fable.
This was my first time looking at your storybook. I have to say that your introduction page is very appealing. The images used were interesting, and I love your little introductory paragraph. It is very attention grabbing! I think it was a great idea on your part to have the link to your comment wall bigger and with an image, it is definitely more noticeable that way. I'm not sure if you were in the process of editing your introduction page when I was viewing it, but the bottom half of the page has gray areas where it looks like images should be.
I think it might benefit you to edit the page name of your first story. From the home page, it says "Story 1," and I would have liked it to be a little more representative of what we would be reading.
I definitely love the writing style you chose. Having it as a radio broadcast is a unique and fun way to learn more about the history of the fable.
Hey Emily! It was so fun to get to read and look at your website again after not reading it for a few weeks. You sure have made a ton of progress, it really looks so good! Some of my very favorite parts of the website included the level of detail that you used in each of your stories, as well as the pictures you chose for the headings and the stories. By using a lot of detail, I was able to get such great imagery and really understand what was happening in the story on a deeper level. The pictures also helped make the story clear to me- great job choosing those! One thing that I would suggest adding or changing would be the opening page intros of each story. This is probably a "me" mistake, but I kept trying to click on the pictures to get access to the stories. Then I realized I needed to click the link at the top of the page. I think if you laid out the page differently, this could eliminate this mistake. Overall, I love you storybook so far!
First off, I love the picture for your comment wall! It's very fitting. I also love that you include a short description about each story on your home page. That way, people can read those and decided which story they want to read first. I may have to incorporate that into my into my own storybook project. One suggestion I have is to maybe include a word or two from the story titles in the page titles. That way, people won't to look for a specific story and it can be easier to navigate.
The pictures you use for your stories go perfect with the themes. I especially like the banner photo on "Breaking News on the G-Network." The look on her face is perfect since the story is all about drama. I also love the picture in "Aphrodite and the Golden Mirror." However, I feel like it's kind of hidden there at the bottom of the page. Do you think you could move it somewhere above the author's note, or possibly make it the banner image?
Hello Emily, Regarding your Brer Rabbit fables I thought you did a great job with the back and forth of Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox. There was a lot of good dialogue there. I would love to have more information about The Laughing Place in your story. Why does Rabbit want to go there? Does he/she have a special connection to this place? I think it would make readers want Rabbit to succeed even more. I was also wondering why the Fox has a problem with Rabbit and why he was trying to catch him? I haven't heard many stories of Brer Rabbit so this was enjoyable to read.
Hello Emily, I want to start off by saying that I found your home page to be very interesting! It felt as though I was on a news home page looking at various stories I could click on and read. As for your story bar I would suggest putting them in order from 1, 2, 3 instead of 3, 2, 1. I think it just makes it look a bit nicer. It would also be cool if you could click on the stories in the home page and be taken to the story. As for the stories I loved them! I loved your writing style and quickly read through each of them because they were easy reads that were very enjoyable. My favorite of the three was probably Aphrodite and the Golden Mirror. I liked this one because it felt different to me. It included characters I was familiar with but in a new and different way. I also like the way you did the dialogue in the other two stories, it was very original.
I want to start of by saying that I found the layout of your website so cool! I like how your homepage is set up with pictures and descriptions of your stories. I like that the stories are all structured differently as well. From Story 1 being a news broadcast to Story 3 being in the perspectives of both Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox. I really enjoyed reading Story 1! I think it's really cool how you combined both Greek mythology and Arabian Nights. Also, the idea of telling the story of Scheherazade and the Sultan as a breaking news broadcast was really cool. I love that you used Hermes as one of the anchors because it makes sense that he was spreading the news since he's the Messenger of the Gods. Also, I really all of the images you have throughout your project. Overall, I enjoyed reading through all of your stories!
I read your story about Aphrodite and I thought it was great. Like some of the others above me, I think the design of your website is really cool - I love the font. I love the variety you provide in your portfolio, writing really unique different stories. It gives your readers the opportunity to experience all kinds of things when they come to your portfolio, so that's awesome. I think it's really cool to use Greek gods as news anchors. I think that gives them a human side (I guess) but it's really cool.
Emily, your first story was so great!! I applaud you for being so creative and unique. I really like that you set up your story as a new broadcast and used a God and Goddess as your broadcasters--it was very humorous. You told the story very well and told it in a fun way! I also really like that you left the readers wanting more.... I really want to know if the sister's motives are pure or if they are seeking to destroy the sultan. I do wonder why the executer's daughter wants to offer herself up to the sultan? Will the grand-vizir get killed if he tries to stop his daughters from going through with the marriage? If many people know of the the treacherous deeds, why aren't they trying to stop him? I am curious to see if the sisters do not kill the sultan and if the grand-vizir, or their father, has to kill them both.... hmmmm
ReplyDeleteEmily, I have to say I was very curious about what you would come up with for your story and how you would tell it. Bravo. This story is so unique I found myself smiling as I read it. I am very interested to read what you come up with next on G-network! I can see the correlation between the Hunger Games and this broadcast and I love it. Greek mythology is so dramatic it would make the hottest broadcast. What if you added some more pictures as Hermes is speaking about different topics? I think this would help the reader picture what the conversation is about more clearly. Also, "Now Zeus with the weather" made me laugh. I can just picture him in his toga in front of the green screen. Ha! By making this a broadcast you have opened it up to so many different stories. Will you continue with the same story or do a completely different one next time? I think it is great that you can kind of leave the reader hanging to bring them back for more. Until next time!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily,
ReplyDeleteI'm excited to read the ending of your story you created on your storyboard! I enjoyed that you left it off with a cliffhanger and the reader has to wait to see what will happen next. Kind of making it like a normal type of podcast or tv talk show that the viewer will have to tune in next week to get the ending. I also liked reading it from the point of view from Hermes and Aphrodite with a newscaster type of mood. I enjoyed that you had input from Aphrodite about love, that gave it a funny addition! I somewhat expected either Hermes or Aphrodite to go in and have some fun with the story as well. Like Aphrodite pretending to be one of the wives or something along those lines. Overall, I like where you're going with the portfolio! I also enjoyed the layout, but I only had one change to be made. The links on your home page didn't take me to the first story or the comment wall! Just something to keep in mind for the future.
Emily,
ReplyDeleteI loved your story! I think it was so creative that you wrote your story from the perspective of newscasters. I liked the length of the story—not too long that it seemed repetitive or boring, but not too short to where it felt like you left things out. One of my favorite parts was how you added humor but also talked about the severity of the situation. I think you did a really good job of explaining all of the details of what was going on—the sultan marrying and the killing all of the different women, and then having the daughter of the killer volunteer herself and her sister to marry the man. Something I want to know more about is the father’s reaction to both of his daughters’ wishing to marry the sultan. Is this something we will learn in a later post? Overall, I absolutely loved this story! Can't wait to keep up with G-Network!
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading you story! This was such a fun style to explore the story with. The humor was spot-on throughout and I was able to follow the plot really easily just with the information the newscasters were providing. I can definitely see how this is similar to the Hunger Games - the cheerful banter about murder worked well here! Overall, there's not much feedback I have about the story itself. However, I think a fun addition might have been adding more visuals, like a TV broadcaster might have behind them while they're reporting. It could be interesting to have them making comments about the visuals and incorporating more banter in that way, while also giving the audience more information about how to picture the characters! However, you definitely don't need to add anything if you don't want to, the story is really strong as it is - great job!
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the style of storytelling you used. The back and forth between Hermes and Aphrodite was really fun and kind of reminded me of the Pitch Perfect commentators given the humor. I really liked your story but I think you might want to revisit a few things on the home page. I kind of had a hard time finding your story. On the first page it looks like there is a link to it at the top of the page but then when you click on it the link just scrolls further down the page. It might be nice to have that be a link to the actual story page. Also I got an error message when I clicked onto the comment wall link on your storybook so you may want to check that out and see if it is working properly. Overall, it seems like your project is coming along great and I am excited to see how it continues to develop.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I loved the layout of your portfolio; the pictures do a great job of giving visual representations, and it is very easy to navigate. The first suggestion I have is to maybe put the titles of the story's in the upper box of each portfolio instead of labeling them story 1, story 2, etc., this way people can quickly find the title instead of trying to remember what number their favorite title was. As for your story, I think you did a fantastic job! I really like how you modernized it by going with a format similar to E-News. This made for a very easy read, and the banter back and forth was very entertaining. Another thing I liked about your story is that you sectioned off the speakers as if it was a news broadcast or something. This made it very clear who was talking at what points and made for a very clean look and organization.
Hey Emily.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your first story. I thought it was intriguing to tell these stories form a breaking news perspective. I haven’t really ever heard of anyone doing it that way, so I was surprised by how much I enjoyed reading your story that way. I like that you gave the Gods more human emotion and had them pretending to be regular people telling the news. I must say I thought they were very detailed for reports ha. The best part to me was at the end when you said, “Now, to Zeus with the weather.” I really enjoyed that stereotype that the God of Thunder would be the weatherman because it just fits perfectly. One thing that confused me was picture next to your comment wall. I was under the impression that I click the picture and it would take me to the story. I was also wondering if there was any way to expand on the story just a little bit more. I know that I was wanting just some more info and tidbits. Otherwise, I thought you did an amazing job and cannot wait to read more of your stories
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading through the first story on your website! I hadn't heard this story before, but it's similar to a story I read for this class a few weeks ago, called "Tales of a Parrot." In that story, a parrot tells stories every night to keep his master's wife from committing adultery while he's away. This trope of someone telling stories to delay or avoid something bad wasn't one I really knew of before this class, but now I'm seeing it everywhere! I thought the idea of telling this story as a developing news story was really interesting, and the dialogue was fantastic! My biggest critique, I think, was that it really threw me off, having the Greek gods telling a news story from Arabian Nights, since they wouldn't have been the deities there, and the two are totally separate. Aside from that, though, it was great! (Also, as a sidenote: your home page either isn't loading correctly on my computer, or has some formatting issues. You might want to view the published site and see if it looks as you intended.)
Hey Emily! I really enjoyed your first story. I was looking forward to seeing how you would recreate it to make it better. I think that the way you told the story from Hermes and Aphrodite made the story feel more realistic because they were talking things through. I have read a lot of story books having used the gossip theme or the “tune in for…” theme but none of these have been news broadcasts with two anchors. I connected with the characters in this story because I felt as though they were real people living in these situations and not as much “gods” like in the original stories. One thing I would consider expanding on is why Aphrodite feels as though something is going on with this girl or she has ulterior motives. OR Aphrodite is like all of us girls and we tend to know when something feels off or wrong with a relationship. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your story and can’t wait to see what’s next on G-Network!
ReplyDeleteHi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI love what you are doing with your storybook! I have not yet seen one that reads like a drama channel broadcast, so this was really fun to read! It is also just such a perfect format for the content and makes it so fun to learn about. The commentary makes the story really enticing and entertaining, especially if the reader knows anything about mythology (but you did such a great job explaining everything that the reader does not even need to). I really liked this line from Aphrodite: "You know how I feel about love, Hermes...". That's a clever way to emphasize her powers and area of expertise! You do not ever give too much information at once (it's spread out really well) so nothing feels overwhelming. Also, the two characters you chose for this story were perfect and had great chemistry. I look forward to seeing what else you come up with!
Emily!
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time looking at your storybook. I have to say that your introduction page is very appealing. The images used were interesting, and I love your little introductory paragraph. It is very attention grabbing! I think it was a great idea on your part to have the link to your comment wall bigger and with an image, it is definitely more noticeable that way. I'm not sure if you were in the process of editing your introduction page when I was viewing it, but the bottom half of the page has gray areas where it looks like images should be.
I think it might benefit you to edit the page name of your first story. From the home page, it says "Story 1," and I would have liked it to be a little more representative of what we would be reading.
I definitely love the writing style you chose. Having it as a radio broadcast is a unique and fun way to learn more about the history of the fable.
I love what you're doing. Keep it up!
Emily!
ReplyDeleteThis was my first time looking at your storybook. I have to say that your introduction page is very appealing. The images used were interesting, and I love your little introductory paragraph. It is very attention grabbing! I think it was a great idea on your part to have the link to your comment wall bigger and with an image, it is definitely more noticeable that way. I'm not sure if you were in the process of editing your introduction page when I was viewing it, but the bottom half of the page has gray areas where it looks like images should be.
I think it might benefit you to edit the page name of your first story. From the home page, it says "Story 1," and I would have liked it to be a little more representative of what we would be reading.
I definitely love the writing style you chose. Having it as a radio broadcast is a unique and fun way to learn more about the history of the fable.
I love what you're doing. Keep it up!
Hey Emily!
ReplyDeleteIt was so fun to get to read and look at your website again after not reading it for a few weeks. You sure have made a ton of progress, it really looks so good! Some of my very favorite parts of the website included the level of detail that you used in each of your stories, as well as the pictures you chose for the headings and the stories. By using a lot of detail, I was able to get such great imagery and really understand what was happening in the story on a deeper level. The pictures also helped make the story clear to me- great job choosing those! One thing that I would suggest adding or changing would be the opening page intros of each story. This is probably a "me" mistake, but I kept trying to click on the pictures to get access to the stories. Then I realized I needed to click the link at the top of the page. I think if you laid out the page differently, this could eliminate this mistake. Overall, I love you storybook so far!
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love the picture for your comment wall! It's very fitting. I also love that you include a short description about each story on your home page. That way, people can read those and decided which story they want to read first. I may have to incorporate that into my into my own storybook project. One suggestion I have is to maybe include a word or two from the story titles in the page titles. That way, people won't to look for a specific story and it can be easier to navigate.
The pictures you use for your stories go perfect with the themes. I especially like the banner photo on "Breaking News on the G-Network." The look on her face is perfect since the story is all about drama. I also love the picture in "Aphrodite and the Golden Mirror." However, I feel like it's kind of hidden there at the bottom of the page. Do you think you could move it somewhere above the author's note, or possibly make it the banner image?
Hello Emily,
ReplyDeleteRegarding your Brer Rabbit fables I thought you did a great job with the back and forth of Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox. There was a lot of good dialogue there. I would love to have more information about The Laughing Place in your story. Why does Rabbit want to go there? Does he/she have a special connection to this place? I think it would make readers want Rabbit to succeed even more. I was also wondering why the Fox has a problem with Rabbit and why he was trying to catch him? I haven't heard many stories of Brer Rabbit so this was enjoyable to read.
Hello Emily,
ReplyDeleteI want to start off by saying that I found your home page to be very interesting! It felt as though I was on a news home page looking at various stories I could click on and read. As for your story bar I would suggest putting them in order from 1, 2, 3 instead of 3, 2, 1. I think it just makes it look a bit nicer. It would also be cool if you could click on the stories in the home page and be taken to the story. As for the stories I loved them! I loved your writing style and quickly read through each of them because they were easy reads that were very enjoyable. My favorite of the three was probably Aphrodite and the Golden Mirror. I liked this one because it felt different to me. It included characters I was familiar with but in a new and different way. I also like the way you did the dialogue in the other two stories, it was very original.
Hi Emily!
ReplyDeleteI want to start of by saying that I found the layout of your website so cool! I like how your homepage is set up with pictures and descriptions of your stories. I like that the stories are all structured differently as well. From Story 1 being a news broadcast to Story 3 being in the perspectives of both Brer Rabbit and Brer Fox. I really enjoyed reading Story 1! I think it's really cool how you combined both Greek mythology and Arabian Nights. Also, the idea of telling the story of Scheherazade and the Sultan as a breaking news broadcast was really cool. I love that you used Hermes as one of the anchors because it makes sense that he was spreading the news since he's the Messenger of the Gods. Also, I really all of the images you have throughout your project. Overall, I enjoyed reading through all of your stories!
Hey Emily,
ReplyDeleteI read your story about Aphrodite and I thought it was great. Like some of the others above me, I think the design of your website is really cool - I love the font. I love the variety you provide in your portfolio, writing really unique different stories. It gives your readers the opportunity to experience all kinds of things when they come to your portfolio, so that's awesome. I think it's really cool to use Greek gods as news anchors. I think that gives them a human side (I guess) but it's really cool.